I wanted to keep these blog entries going in chronological order but it just wasn’t in the cards because apparently my router takes a steaming crap every time I try to upload anything to YouTube whilst multitasking. I’m getting ready to take all the technology in my house out into a clearing, put the song “Die Muthafuckahs” on an old school John Cusack-hoisted-over-the-head style boom box, and Office Space the living shit out of all of it until nothing remains but a pile of dented and/or shattered plastic and microchips.

 

Okay, just imagining it made me feel a little better. A Vicodin should help with the rest of my pain.

 

Anyway, even though I love the movie beyond compare, when I decided to become an online reviewer, I chose my first project to be John Carpenter’s Halloween. When you’re reviewing a movie and having to be funny about it, there’s nothing harder than choosing to lampoon a film you love, so when I said I’m “diving in with both feet,” I truly meant it.

 

Enjoy my first review for The Haywire Effect and stay tuned for more episodes, plus the director’s cut of this one, which will be shown theatrically one night only.